Have you ever wanted what someone else had, so much so that you became so obsessed with making it happen in your own life that it exhausted all your energy?
Maybe it was for a material thing like a car, a pair of shoes, or a vacation home. Maybe it was for a lifestyle, business model, or a relationship.
For many of us, we need to see something outside of ourselves to know we want it, and one downside to this is we think it will make us happy. (But it doesn’t…)
The other downside is…
You may even get the very thing you’re wanting, then realize it’s not what you really wanted in the first place, but were taken by how cool it “seemed” to have it.
We all do it. We do it more today than ever with social media and advertising basically everywhere at almost every second of our lives. What we are really seeing are the high times in people’s lives, or fabricated fantasies, but not the behind the scenes – the real deal called life.
Ahem, even reality T.V. is not REAL.
I know when I’m having a melt down I don’t feel like having my picture taken and put on Instagram. It’s personal, and no one needs to see this. I do share what is true for me, I am as transparent as I can be, and hopefully tasteful.
I shared my story of how I went from stealing food to having a six figure business. I did this to show what is possible, and that life is not all it seems to be on the outside. The thing is, my life, my journey, my mistakes, my high and low times – are mine. AND YOU HAVE YOURS.
We all have role models and people who inspire us.
I know for me most of my role models helped me to see I could create a very different life than the one that was “planned” for me. I was able to see what was possible, but was snagged into thinking I wanted what they had, and strived to create something that was not really right for me. I was caught in wanting what I thought would make me happy, until I realized it was not working because what I wanted was something else, and I was judging it as if it was not good enough.
In some way we want to be like our mentors, role models, and teachers. This is normal. We take on their language, behavior, and even style. We lose a sense of ourselves, becoming a parrot, even though we don’t see it, and we don’t really find our own voice.
This works until it doesn’t. I see it all the time with online businesses and coaches. They are so inspired they use words that are more jargon than what is unique to them. Again this is normal. (Psst… I did it, too, until I found my own voice.)
This may motivate you…until it becomes the very thing that makes you stuck.
I wanted to write a New York Times Best Seller, be on Oprah, have the 20,000 member mailing list, create a multi million dollar business, own homes around the world, and the list goes on and on.
For so many years of being in the self development world, creating vision boards, and being told I create my life (I totally agree we do). I would look outside myself to see what I wanted to create in my life instead of looking inside to what would really work for me.
It worked for some things, but I only got so far until I was stuck again. In 2012, I hit my ceiling, and had to let go of what I thought I wanted and went inward to discover what I really wanted.
Which leads me to my BIG REVEAL today.
Drumroll…. Today I’m in my 22nd week of pregnancy. YES! I’m preggers and will be turning 42 this month, and will have my first child with ease and grace. This was what I really wanted, and after 20+ years of chasing dreams that were not really mine for my career, personal growth, and my relationship, it was time for redefining what I really wanted.
What shifted it all for me was I was done with wanting what others had – this took time and a coach who helped me change my behavior, see what made me tick, and find my voice. I worked on my inner game to start defining what my Remarkable Life would look like, for me.
I spent lots of time practicing and in reflection. I meditated more and began to create a focused awareness, began to find my space, cultivated presence, did forgiveness work, opened to more abundance for myself, began to trust myself so I could love authentically as me, and be the artist of my life.
Through this process I became clear to be able to define what I wanted… a solid marriage, children, and to design a life with ease, putting my career in the passenger seat. I wanted to not have to drive much, work at home, and create my art – my work.
(If this process looks, sounds or feels good to you, then stay tuned for what’s coming on June 16th, my birthday, because we’re creating something just for you to go deeper into your growth and take ownership of your life.)
Gratefully, I am now living my Remarkable Life, on my terms, and no one else’s. It’s a daily practice, and I’m still on my journey of expanding this into my ever expanding reality.
And the best part about this is You can get started to create your Remarkable Life right now, and I’m here to help you do that.
Before we get into that, let’s do some housecleaning first…
You get to define what a Remarkable Life looks like for you, take ownership of it, and feel good about what this looks like for you. You may not even realize that what you’re going for in life is something someone else has, with the thought it will make you happy.
Give yourself a few minutes to answer these questions for yourself, to create a space for what you want your Remarkable Life to be.
When you see what someone else has and want it, ask yourself, “Do I want this or does my ego think it will make me happy? Am I jealous? Do I envy them? Will this really make my soul happy?”
Be amused by what you find and validate yourself for this new awareness that will open you up to your own information and creativity.
Now, let’s Create Your Remarkable Life – subtracting what others have and what you think will make you happy.
When you look at your life it may seem overwhelming at first.
We will break it down into categories to make it easy for you, feel free to add or delete what feels right for you when you write them down, and own what you want in each one. If you want to create a Wheel of Your Life, go ahead and do that. It’s up to you…
What are the ingredients to create your Remarkable Life? Now you can see what it is you want to make your life REMARKABLE, it does not have to be about it looking like anyone else’s life.
It’s about being authentic to who you want to BE, DO, and then HAVE in your life.
If you hit a block like, “I don’t deserve this”, be aware of it, it’s normal to have blocks. One thing that works is doing it anyway and forgiving yourself for feeling this way.
Use this Permission Statement (say aloud daily) to help you along the way:
I give myself permission to take ownership of my life. I’m ready to release wanting [whatever it is you think was going to make you happy] and start focusing on [what will really make you happy that defines your Remarkable Life] so I can make space for it to show up with ease. I’m thankful for the freedom to create my life on my own terms. And so it is…
Now I want to hear from YOU, Gorgeous. I’m curious to know what you noticed when you did this exercise…
Did you like it? Did it bring up stuff for you? Did it give you an AHA moment of what your Remarkable Life Is? Tell us in the comments below.
If you have a story to share about this, please share that, too.
I can’t wait to connect with you in the comments…
Your Angel of Fire,